Get ready y'all. Honky Tonk Badonkadonk is on the song list, but will anybody sing it? Grand Old Opry Week means country week comes early, and people always do terrible on country week. Let's see who can channel their inner Carrie Underwood or Taylor Hicks. Who will be on the tour? Last year we lost Amanda Overmyer on this week, but let's hope our best contestants don't leave tonight.
Michael Sarver - "Ain't Goin Down Till The Sun Comes Up" by Garth Brooks - Awesome, the band has a groupie with a doofy face who can play some harmonica. Michael's voice was a little wavery, but he hit all the lyrics which is difficult in that song. He should've sung the song more like himself instead of fixing his voice to Garth Brooks, as it really hurt his chorus performances. Michael was mediocre tonight, but that might be enough to send him on the tour. The outfit was classic Michael, which means normal.
GRADE: D+
Allison Irahata - "Blame It On Your Heart" by Patty Loveless - This was a brilliant song choice I think because Allison was able to make it sound a little rockabilly country, at least more than the original. Someone needs to shoot whoever tried to match her leather jacket to her red hair though. She hit the high notes the way she can and did a fabulous job with this one. The judges loved it and rightfully so. Could be the best performance of the night, a girl frontrunner maybe?
GRADE: A-
Kris Allen - "To Make You Feel My Love" by Garth Brooks - This guy is like a slightly more appealing Archuleta in my book, and I probably need to stop putting him in the bottom 3 because the tweentards love him too much. This performance bores me. He seems solid on the pitch and the notes, but again he's just so stereotypical and boring. Did not show us much of anything this week, but will make it through. Of course the judges like his vulnerability. Barf.
GRADE: B-
Lil Rounds - "Independence Day" by Martina McBride - Randy Travis is right, this is an amazingly big song, which should come as no surprise from Lil. The pink dress is not bad on her, but maybe she should've gone American Flag print to get country votes. It got a little shouty at the end, but the McBride song was kind of rough too. Lil did a nice job with the chorus, but the long verse was not the best. Should've put a little bit more Lil R&B flavor on it.
GRADE: C+
Adam Lambert - "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash - So Randy Travis thinks the black nail polish wouldn't have been worn by the man in black? Really? LOL! Lambert takes the Cash song and makes it kind of like Godsmack's voodoo in the first verse. I don't think it sticks very well, but Adam sells it. A little overly sexual, but the kiddies like the tension. His silver jacket is terribad, but again, it's Adam. Trouble brewing, and he'll be happy to escape country week after that performance. Simon: "what the hell was that?" Amen.
GRADE: D
Scott MacIntyre - "Wild Angels" by Martina McBride - I'm surprised this performance wasn't sponsored by the new McCafe at McDonalds. This McPerformance was worse than last week's surprising performance without the piano. Scott has great singing McTalent and is an excellent piano McPlayer, but this song was a McQuestionable choice. The guys this season need to cut the McFalsetto crap because they don't pull it off. Scott continues to be the best McDressed guy, which is sad considering he's mostly McBlind. He hit most of the notes, but a mediocre performance. He keeps this up, he'll earn the name McBlind.
GRADE: C+
Alexis Grace - "Jolene" by Dolly Parton - Well it doesn't get much more grand old opry than Dolly, so here we go. Alexis goes from "dirty it up" to a very beautiful patterned LBD which is the best outfit of the night. The performance was spot on, just like Randy Travis said. No country twang made it slightly plain, but this was still solid on a night of mediocrity and safeness. Judges said some pitch issues, but it sounded better than that to me.
GRADE: B
Danny Gokey - "Jesus Take The Wheel" by Carrie Underwood - The white jacket has got to go, it's springtime dude. The thing that's OK about this song choice is that he's making it his own soulful self instead of a girl trying to match a former Idol (and possibly the best). Danny puts his trademarked big long glory notes on it, but for some reason he's not as terrible as most Idol glory noters. Anybody else think they saved Jamar for Season 9 because he couldn't beat Danny?
GRADE: A-
Anoop Desai - "You're Always On My Mind" by Willie Nelson or Johnny Cash - That's a cute hoodie dude, maybe I can get that at Blind Navy. Ugh. If Kris Allen does this rendition of this song, the judges love him. Anoop, well we'll see but I'm guessing no. The song was a little boring and a mediocre choice, but Anoop thinks this is where his future is. I just don't think he'll be successful going that slowly. I was wrong, the judges sucked up the sappy because they all hate country and the only way to make it go away is sing like a funeral.
GRADE: D+
Megan CAW CAW Corkrey - "I Go Walking After Midnight" by Patsy Cline - This dress is nice and she looks classy, but like Carly last season she's pimping the distracting tattoo. She's back to the terrible arm swinging and stand in one spot twirl. She's a VFTW veteran already, but not this week unless she drops another CAW CAW. She did a nice job trying to change the song, but she missed some more notes than most tonight. She'll be in trouble again.
GRADE: D
Matt Giraud - "So Small" by Carrie Underwood - How much longer must this no talent d-bag from Detroit stick around. G-rod takes away his mediocre soul dance and sits down for a pianoman solo. You cannot go wrong with the black tie and suit, so props on that because he looks like a real legitimate performer. Unfortunately, this song was meh. This kind of felt like Justin Timberlake, but not in the good way. He was a little off, but he'll make it from the money slot because everyone always does.
GRADE: C+
So it was not quite the disaster it could've been, but as usual, country week was punted. Too many reworkings tonight and all of a sudden, Adam Lambert has a really bad night. This could be a judge save situation if he gets dropped, but I don't think he will. It will be close though.
TOP PERFORMER - Allison Irahata
SAFE - Allison Irahata, Danny Gokey, Kris Allen, Lil Rounds, McBlind, Alexis Grace, Anoop Desai, Matt Giraud
BOTTOM 3 - Adam Lambert, Megan Corkrey, Michael Sarver
BUH-BYES - Megan Corkrey
See you next week!
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